Origins

origins

Darkness.

I felt like I was being cradled by the black sea of nothingness that enclosed me. I had no sense of the boundary of my being and that which surrounded me. The darkness was part of me and I was part of it. I felt neither warmth nor a chill; there was neither quiet nor sound. No smells. Nothing to touch. Yet I was not afraid. I felt… taken care of.

I stayed in this state of quiet existence for what seemed like an eternity and then a pin-prick of light erupted in the distance, or, maybe it wasn’t that far away, but I understood nothing of spatial awareness then. I gazed calmly at the little white dot and watched it shimmer and warp like a tiny mirage. I waited. It grew. And then it was on top of me, enveloping my every sense until I felt like a million tiny explosions of feeling had erupted all over me.

Me.

But what was me?

As I became accustomed to the light and began to make out shapes and forms, I took stock of the landscape around me. There stretched out a vast expanse of lit-up dark terrain in all directions, like a light-field grid, and a repeated light geometric form that seemed to impress itself wherever I cared to look. I ventured movement and was rewarded with the sense of my right top-most appendage directly before me. I regarded it with mild curiosity as I grew more accustomed to its weight and capabilities. Transferring my attention to the left, I discovered I had a matching pair and I stood, most amused for some time, revelling in the sudden extension to what I was.

Then lo, shifting my sights downward, I was doubly astonished with the sight of two lower appendages. Unfortunately, having afforded previously unfocussed attention to my lower extremities also introduced gravity to the mix, it seemed, and before I knew what was happening I felt myself crumpling to a heap.

If there was anyone else in the vicinity, this would now prove to be embarrassing, had I an understanding of the concept! I concentrated hard and forced myself to feel all of me. With this rudimentary site map of sorts firmly in mind, I willed myself to an upright position and was immediately granted my first head-rush. But at least I was up. Then, one pace after the other, I propelled my form forward towards… anywhere.

Time.

A seemingly inordinate amount of what I understood as elementary linear time had transpired since my initial awakening out there in the vast expanse of here. I lived an uncomplicated life of providing the basic necessities to assure the continuation of my existence only. I gathered knowledge and wisdom, accumulated feelings, and formed relationships with others I’d discovered around me. We weren’t all the same but we were all here for the same common purpose… which I was still a little hazy on.

I lay in the private chamber of my abode, a simple white affair of sleek organic lines and non-geometric planes. I had learned about myself plentifully, but in all this time, I was yet to be assigned an identity. Although I was aware of the central core to my being, I had not seen my true self… as was the same with everyone else here. On chancing another being, the same phenomenon would occur; the identity focal point was always obscured by a dark void just waiting to be filled. And there was the repeated light geometric form always, which I now understood as being a triangle with a ring encircling a fine dot point at its apex. Curious, but familiar now.

This particular moment in time was different. I felt a yearning to rise and venture to where I had not yet been: to the sacred place. I arose and draped my loose-fitting robes around me. Outside I was met by my companion: a small noisy critter that followed me to all places and would accompany me again in this moment. I but thought of transport and felt the familiar rush of time and space swirl around me, my previous location being replaced by the towering, glittering edifice that was the temple. The translucent pillars rose from their solid crystal plinths, disappearing into the void like soft beams of light.

I felt my companion fuss below me, making its intention clear that it was keen to follow me in. Alas, this was not to be and for the first time I felt the searing weight of loss and sadness on realising that our acquaintance had arrived at its natural end. I took a furtive step towards the temple entrance before turning one last time to my friend and expressing forward what I always had in its presence. We both knew that I would never return.

Inside the gleaming crystal structure, I was greeted by a host of similarly robe-clad beings. I was escorted to a dimly lit circular hall bearing a solid stone dais at its axis and, surprisingly, the repeated light geometric triangular shape branded on almost every surface. I was bid to recline. The robed beings encircled me, holding on to one another and began murmuring softly under their breaths. A quiet chant.

I lay peacefully for a while before feeling the extraordinary sensation of weightlessness. I felt light, in both senses of the word, and a warm peace spread over every fibre of my being – not just within the semi-physical vessel that I inhabited presently, but everything and everywhere. At that moment I felt the full expanse of my true self swell and spread and I came to realise oneness with everything there ever was and will ever be.

I was a part of everything and everything was a part of me.

I felt lift and then the awareness of being propelled out into the extreme vastness and farthest reaches of the Universe to finally alight in the place where I was destined.

I opened my eyes; unfamiliar sights, sounds, textures. I felt cold. I was hungry. I heard a gurgling sound emerge from my lungs.

I cried for the very first time.

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